Perfect

I think I may have finally found the answer to something very hard for me, forgiving but not forgetting. Yayyy I feel better

Egypt

I was watching the news all weekend and cannot stop thinking about the crisis in egypt. Since I had known about Tom and Dom's mission trips over the summer and met Mama Maggie, as well as considered going on the egypt trip this summer, I can not stop thinking about what was going on half way across the world. Among so many other things, I wonder that if christians were already persecuted and the minority, what is going to happen to them now? If an islamic extremist group gains control what will they do to the egyptian christians like Mamma Maggie and others? It makes you realized that there are so many greater problems than what grades I get, or college, or what I'll wear out tonight, or my popularity. Gods people are so much bigger than those things. I really hope all those people will be okay

rewind

Please help me find direction.  I miss the old maddie. The maddie who was constantly smiley and happy, was always herself, and innocent. I just want to be that girl who had all of her priorities straight and felt so confident. The person who I am becoming scares me because I just want things to go back to the way there were.

healed

okay so this is my first day with a blog and already my third post. haha I have a feeling ill be using this much more than i anticipated...
I went on my mosaic stay treat this weekend and I love these type of things because they remind me of how much God loves me and how far I can grow apart from him. the last couple of weeks have been kind of hard for me. I've been really stressed and felt just sad and really lonely. I feel like everything in the world is going right for me, yet nothing is really making me truly happy. I know I made mistakes and I was starting to question decisions that felt so right at the time. I feel like something or someone was missing. and no matter how many times I said I was fine or smiled, I still felt empty. After this weekend though, Gods presence came to me for the first time in longer than Id like to admit. It just felt so good. I just feel healed. 

If God is for us, who can be against us? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 31b, 35, 37-39)

friendship

WANTED: A best friend who meets the following ten requirements

1) Someone who's family family loves me more than my own family does

2) Someone who will tell me the truth even when I don't want to hear it

3) Someone who will stand up for me when no one else will

4) Someone who can seriously talk about things like God with me

5) Someone who makes me feel good about myself

6) Someone who never would let a boy come between us

7) Someone who always has my back, even when I'm wrong

8) Someone who laughs with me and my unfunny jokes

9) Someone who pulls me back to reality when I've gone astray

10) Someone who cares about me and always has my back

Any persons meeting the following will be automatically disqualified:

1) Anyone who leaves me stranded and alone at parties

2) Anyone who talks shit about me to my ex boyfriend

3) Anyone who cuts me down just so they feel better

4) Anyone who gossips about me to make them feel better

5) Anyone who doesn't truly want the best for me

6) Anyone who makes my cry

7) Anyone who thinks they are 'too cool' for me

8) Anyone who calls me a bitch

9) Anyone who spreads secrets I've entrusted to them

10) Anyone who cares about themselves more than they care about me

If you meet these requirements please contact me. 

Why can friends be so hard? They can either lift you up or they can make you feel worse than anyone else in the world. I feel like we're in an abusive relationship. We always go back and forth fighting over the dumbest things. With high school progressing, it gets really hard to not have that one solid, stable best girl friend. It is not my place to apologize for our fight, but that is what always seems to happen. I guess were okay now, but I'm not sure if it's for the best.

 

fresh start

So i finally did it. I am officially done not knowing what is going on in the lives of my best friends, done being the only one without one, done with not sharing my life with them, done with not having an outlet to vent. I got a blog. I did it to better know them, but who knows, maybe this will help me better understand myself too. Right?