junioritis

So it is currently 10:53 and I have a full night a head of me. Spanish test 1st period, Pre-Calc before school, earth science project, college essays and only about 700 more pages of assigned reading still to do. Usually I am the over-achiever of over-achievers, staying up at all hours of the night to finish everything perfectly and always working diligently, but something has happened in the last few weeks. I all of a sudden just don't care. Well that might be a step to far. I care but I do think I may have contracted a lethal strain of senioritis from my lovely senior friends, or junioritis in my case. Maybe its the weather, maybe its the fact that summer is almost within my grasp, or maybe it is that I am just so worn out. I am trying my hardest to find some willpower to continue but I am just so done, and the sad thing is that I am a second semester Junior, so everything counts, a lot. So as I write this hoping to waste as much time as I can before going to study those spanish vocab words I've put off, I would just like to leave with one final thought: Junior year blows.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"

For as long as I can remember I have been dreading this day. The day when all my friends from church would leave me behind and graduate. And today was that day, the last Koininia. God, I was just a mess. I knew today was coming, but it really didn't hit me until I was sitting in the chapel tonight during worship and thought to myself "this is it." I couldn't believe it. I looked around and realized this was the last time I would see Steveo singing, the last time Tim would play the drums, the last time I would walk in on a Sunday night and be greeted with a huge hug by my friend Dom, the last time I would see Will running around making sure all the lighting was perfect, the last time I would be in the same room with all these people who had come to define my high school experience. These were the kids I remember looking up to in 6th grade and just wishing I they would somehow want to be my friend as badly as I wanted to be theirs. These people have been with me through the ups and the downs and I am so lucky that God has placed each and everyone of them in my life. I am so lucky to have fallen into this community and that I have been blessed with the best brothers and sisters in Christ possible. So as I loudly (and as off key as always) sang my heart out for the final time with this PAW band, I really did feel God. He showed me all the times to be happy about and all the memories these songs brought back from the years. The mission trips, the sabbaths, the mosaic retreats, the Sunday nights that had helped make up the person I am. I scanned the room and took in all the faces of all the friends I have been so lucky to make. I know that although this may seem like the end now, it is only the beginning of a new journey God is placing before us. I will always have these friends as part of my life and will continue to pray and love them. I am so blessed to have such an amazing community. I love Christ Church of Oak Brook with all my heart, mind, and soul. Thank you God for an amazing last seven years. Just wish I had worn water proof mascara. (: